Pray for a Fish and Get a Hook and Line

If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives that person patience?

Or does he give her the opportunity to be patient?

If someone prays for courage, does God give that person courage?

Or does he provide opportunities to be courageous?

If someone prays for trust in God's guidance,

Do you think God zaps her with warm trusting confidence?

Or does he give her the chance to deepen her trust?

--Evan Almighty

I already knew all that, of course, and I'll bet you do, too. But the reminder helped me a lot not long ago when, despite my daily prayers for guidance and trust in that guidance, it seemed every action I took turned out wrong. It felt as though I just couldn't get my bearings.

"Please show me the way," I kept asking the Creator of the universe, who surely knew. Yet, day by day my poverty deepened, with creditors growing fangs and, worst of all, the possibility of being unable to feed my menagerie of rescued cats and dogs looming.

Where did I go wrong? I wondered. Why should a person of reasonable intelligence sink so deep into this bog of scarcity? Will I be homeless next, like the stories you see on TV of former business executives collecting tin cans and sleeping on the sidewalk? Is there really no one who will help me? What shall I DO?!

Yes, I even had thoughts of ending my life -- although those were always short-circuited by knowing my animals depended completely on me and were no more likely to be taken care of by someone else than I was.

It really was a dark, tough time and I'm sure I made many mistakes. But as my sense of control lessened and the chaos and confusion grew, a tiny calm space opened within me that I found I could go to when circumstances were more than I could bear. It wasn't a rational place, where all the answers were suddenly before me. It wasn't a happy place, where I could forget my troubles. Instead, it was simply a place of knowing that, even in a world gone all dark and dangerous, a powerful and loving Presence was with me.

Disaster might still strike; I did not feel immune. But I had a core sense that my life would continue somehow because it rested in the palm of the one who placed my soul on this planet and who orchestrates the symphony of creation. I have a place in that creative work, and though I am often deaf to the guidance I need, I can relax into knowing that even so the way is being prepared for me to move forward.

And that is how trust has entered my life.